Thankful.

I am sitting here today, alone, working on homework on this Thanksgiving, and aside from being only slightly lonely, I am feeling incredibly blessed beyond measure.

No, I was not forgotten or overlooked by my family. I chose to use this day of Thankfulness to put in my last sprint towards the finish line of grad school and my sincerest hope is that I will wrap up all of my major projects by Sunday evening and be able to close this chapter. Right now I am thankful for the fluffy pups keeping me company today, and snuggle breaks when I need them.

For my final capstone project I am forced to be reflective and write five separate personal statements about my experience over the past two years in the program. While yes, I have a lot to say about the materials, classes, and coursework, I come back to being grateful that I even had this chance and was encouraged to take the risk of graduate school. I feel incredibly enriched by the whole experience.

I am also reflective on all of the support I've been given to do this. My husband has not faltered in supporting my goals and dreams to go through this program and I feel like we understand one another better than before this experience.

I am thankful to my entire family who are gracefully accepting and supporting my absence in today's gatherings, as well as everything else I have missed in the past 2+ years. Thank you for allowing me to be selfish with my time and for allowing and supporting me to grow.

 I am thankful for a job that allowed me flexibility to both work and complete an internship at the same time and for a boss who sees the benefits of higher education.

I am thankful for dear, dear friends who continue to encourage me, even today and who, like my family, have forgiven me all that I have missed in the past 2+ years to put in this work.

I am also thankful for growing up in a family that valued both education and older adults and instilled a love of both within me. In working on this capstone project, it is so clear to me that I would not be who I am without my amazing grandparents who have unwaveringly supported me and encouraged me and never let me quit.

It would be remiss to note that I am also incredibly thankful that I am at the end. I have nearly made it, can see the finish line, and am so, so grateful that I won't have to miss any more Thanksgivings for school work… at least for the next couple years, because you know, there is no harm in having more than one advanced degree…

Happy Thanksgiving All - I hope you had a blessed day.

XOXO

And then what?

And then what?

I keep getting asked this question in regards to what I am planning once I get my Masters degree next month (holy crap, next month!), so I wanted to take the opportunity to answer it:

I
Don't
Know.

I have no major, grand scheme plan lined up and do not foresee my life changing all that much after December 13th, aside from a great reduction in stress.

I recently had a family member of one of the residents on my unit ask me "And then what?" and after I gave him a schpeal about how there were a lot of different directions I could go and various things I would be interested in doing, but I will definitely be staying put in my current position for the time being, he gave me a challenge. He challenged me to set 5 and 10 year professional goals because without goals I am like a "ship without a rudder, blowing wherever the wind may take me" and that I need to have direction, so I can always be working towards something.

Since this conversation a month or so ago, I have seriously been fretting over these lists he wants from me by Christmas. Fundamentally, I don't disagree with him. It is great to have goals and something to work for - absolutely. But, all of the best things that have happened to me have been because I was open to them. I found my undergrad minor in Gerontology by happenstance and it has shaped the trajectory of my career. I sent out my resume cold to multiple facilities in the area and the one I am at is one of the few that called me in for an interview. Then, I took my current position when something opened at my facility and found my passion for working with older adults with dementia. These were not goals I had laid out or a specific career road map I was following.

I decided to get my Masters in Gerontology to be more effective in my current job, learn more about the vast field of gero, and add more skills and qualifications to my resume. I feel infinitely more enriched and knowledgeable in my field and more competent as a supervisor because of all I have learned in the last two years. I would go back and do it all again because it has been an enormously valuable experience.

Moving forward though, I am going to continue doing as I have done. I am going to remain open to various opportunities that may come  my way. If I find something I really want to do, I will pursue it. Right now, I don't know what the next few years of my life are going to look like, and perhaps for the first time, I am OK with that. So, to really answer "and then what?"

And then, I might get around to learning how to cook
And then, I might set a goal to train and actually run a 10K
And then, I might want to take an art class
And then, I might read for fun and review more books on my blog - maybe even join a book club
And then, I will get organized and clean out all of the stuff that has been accumulating for the past two years
And then, I am going to enjoy being out of school and just live my life, open to whatever opportunities and chances come my way professionally

Looking for Alaska - A Review

Miles Halter is fascinated by famous last words–and tired of his safe life at home. He leaves for boarding school to seek what the dying poet Francois Rabelais called the “Great Perhaps.” Much awaits Miles at Culver Creek, including Alaska Young. Clever, funny, screwed-up, and dead sexy, Alaska will pull Miles into her labyrinth and catapult him into the Great Perhaps. (from John Green's website) 

Honestly, I thought I might call this post "John Green is a sadist" because I think the man enjoys ripping out people's hearts and displaying them like hunting trophies. I mean, I haven't even read The Fault in Our Stars yet because I know it can't end well…. because stories about teenagers with terminal illnesses are always a barrel of laughs. 

I chose Looking For Alaska to read, because I had heard good things and I thought it would be safe. Be warned, I was wrong about that. John Green now has my mangled heart in a trophy case. Don't get me wrong - the story is great, well written, interesting and the characters are likable, relatable, and I feel like I could have gone to high school with them. It is a coming of age story that will stick with you. But it broke my heart. 

I think one thing really, really killed it for me though. You never forget the day you lose someone you love. Ever. That will make more sense to people who read the book, but it upset me on a deeper level than just reading a book that got sad. 

Read at your own risk folks, it is a really good book, but it might be too much for the sensitive reader. 

To Me at 17

The hubs and I visited my Nana and Papa last weekend at my teeny-tiny hometown. I had a bridal shower to go to for my high school BFF and we decided to just make a weekend of it and spend some quality time with my family. It was good to unplug for a bit (Nana and Papa have no wi-fi!) and just be. But you know how it is when you are all snuggled up in your childhood home with people who have known you since you were in diapers. Nostalgia sets in for sure. I have been thinking a lot about the girl I was in high school and the ways I have changed and grown since that time. Then, this week while doing my regular blog-trolling, I happened upon Lauren Conrad's blog in which she gave her 18 year old self advice. The timing was perfect and I was inspired. I spent that whole drive to work thinking about what I would tell that 17 year me. Here's what I came up with:

1. Be Brave. Oh hunny, you are about to embark on some big-life changing adventures (hello college!) and you need to put on your big girl panties and embrace it. I know it is so, so scary to leave the only place you have ever known, but let go of that fear and embrace the newness. Don't be afraid to leave your dorm room. But, it is still OK to let Janna drive your car in heavy traffic until you get used to it.

2. Be intentional in your friendships. Growing up with the same people for the last 17 years has made you complacent at working on friendships. They were just built in. You don't know how to work and maintain them yet, and because of this, you are going to lose some really great relationships that you probably would've been able to hang onto for life. This is going to be something you regret in the future.

3. If it isn't drugs or sex, just say yes. - I heard this advice given to a college freshman and while it seems a bit wild, you should really just abide by it. There are going to be so many opportunities that come your way and you need to at least try new things, and if it isn't sex or drugs, it probably won't hurt you.

4. On boys -  Now, I am actually pretty proud of the boys you have dated up to this point, but you are about to have a serious lapse in judgement. Be a little picky. Have some standards as to how you should be treated. It all works out, and you are super happy now, and more than a little embarrassed about that one guy - you will know him when you see him… Also, your next heartbreak will be your worst, it is going to rip out your heart, get confusing, and you still get through it just fine, but it is messy and you should probably not listen to that Faith Hill/Tim McGraw song "Like We Never Loved at All" while walking to class. Also avoid Norah Jones at all cost after this one. Also, say yes to camping. You will thank me later:

5. Study Abroad. I know the thought of that terrifies you, but, see #1. You will never have another opportunity like that, so also, see #3.

6. Stop rushing things. I know you feel like you have to get through school as quickly as possible to be able to start real life and I know that you feel like school is too expensive to drag out - but finishing in 4 years instead of 3 and a half is Ok. Take a light load that last semester and live. it. up.

What about you? What would you tell your 17 year old self?

Stuff I Loved!

I love a good stuff-I-love round-up, so I thought for my once-in-a-blue-moon posting schedule that I am on at the moment, that would be a good way to hit some high points and cover a lot of ground.

Products:

There are two new products that I have become a pretty big fan of.

First up, Loreal Extraordinare Gel-Lacquer (although, that name is quite the mouthful guys). This is a 3-step at-home-no-fancy-light-required gel mani. The first time I tried it I went FIVE DAYS with minimal chippage. That is huge! I am usually happy if I can get through three days without chipping which then leads to obsessive picking until I have effectively scraped off all nail polish and my nails look like they've gotten in a fight with a shredder. I started with a fun, summery red and after my amazing experience went back and bought a stormy gray and two shades of orchid. I could give you the actual colors, but that would require getting up and walking to my bathroom to look, so I am sure you can understand why that's just not happening.

The other product I am digging is this magical potion I found on pinterest. The pin said that you put it on your hair and magically wake up with it curly! I thought, hey, I have got to try that magic! It is called Sebastian Potion 9, Wearable Styling Treatment. I like to air-dry my hair by just tossing it up in a loose bun and sleeping on it and I usually use a leave-in conditioner anyway, so I switched that out for the new product. It does give my hair extra texture to work with and really lends itself to a messy-curls look. I just refine it a bit with my brand-spanking-new CHI curling iron that I looooooooooove, which takes all of 2 minutes and then I am out the door. A perfect lazy-girl hair product.

Watching:

I have watched nothing but Animal Planet's River Monsters on Netflix this week. Jeremy Wade is an insane silver fox and am in love with this show that is a marriage of crime drama and fishing. Just give it a go, you can thank me later.

Reading:

I am currently reading Ender's Game, and because I am in the middle of it, I can't give a full opinion quite yet, but I am digging it. I also plan to watch the movie before giving it a proper review in it's own post.

Doing:

I might be crazy, but I decided to train for a 10K run in September. It gives me exactly 12 weeks to work up from running 2-3 miles to 6 miles. *gulp* I felt like I needed some extra motivation through, so I needed something to work towards. I did my first week of training, which was some easy short runs and a 2-miler. I hit my personal best on my mile and 2-mile time this week!

Shopping:

So, I am not sure if you've been anywhere near the internet for the past several days, but in case you haven't, Nordstrom is having a sale. I am not a typical Nordstrom-shopper - its all too expensive for me, and I just stay away to avoid tempting myself into splurging on things I just don't need. Welllllllllll, I did make one itty bitty Nordstrom sale purchase of a scarf, but I am super excited because I have been wanting a faux fur scarf since Christmas and just could not find one that lived up to my expectations. This purchase has now led me to trying to track down a new winter coat and boots (two things which I actually am in need of). Oh and yes, I do know it is July, but if you had lived through the last winter in the polar vortex of Chiberia, you would want to be well-prepared too!

Listening:
Considering I am still on a high from the Blake Shelton/Band Perry concert I saw last night, I will leave you with one of my fav's from each of them
Better Dig Two - Band Perry (this is on my running playlist)
Ol' Red - Blake Shelton (this is an oldie, but a goodie)
Honeybee - Blake Shelton (Alright, I couldn't pick just one)

Ooooh - I feel like it would be remiss to mention the one thing I did NOT love this week and that's only because in a roundabout way it brought a lot of hilarity to my life on Friday. Cheap coffee tumblers are not a good life-choice! Here - read my amazon review for yourself and I am sure you can figure out why me and my co-workers got a laugh.

Youtube Yoga

When I was in college and actually started thinking about maintaining physical fitness for the first time in my life (helllloooo Freshman 15), I wanted an easy-non-cardio-don't-make-me-actually-sweat workout. I thought, Eureaka! Yoga is easy!

Now, all you Yogis out there don't start gunning for me yet...

I was so wrong. Yoga is totally challenging and actually DOES make me sweat! I loved it - and if it hadn't been for 3 jobs and a crazy class schedule and a serious relationship, I probably would've taken waaaaaay more advantage of the free classes at our rec center. However, se la vie, and I didn't do as much yoga as I would've liked. Fast forward 5 years (holy crap, I've been out of college for FIVE years?!) and I still love yoga, but I had fallen out of doing it with any regularity.

When I picked up running a couple years ago (wow, I still feel like such a beginner!), I started having some inflammation in my hip (something about an extra vertebrae and a pelvis that likes to twist). The first bout of inflammation I treated with ice and chiropractic care and proper running shoes. Then I stopped running for 6 months, ya know, because of that hip... and internship... and job.... and oh yes, a polar vortex. (I have lots of great excuses guys!)

Running and I were on a break.

But we are working things out now. 

My renewed relationship with running now has  the added component of regular yoga. Since I am cheap and my husband is probably the biggest fan of youtube.com I've ever known, I decided to give it a whirl and see if I could find some post-run yoga stretching for my hips on the ol' youtube.

I found that and so much more! Here are a few of my favorite videos:

My go-to post run stretch:


I love her whole channel and this video really got me sweating:



This was harder than I thought, and dang, I was sore afterwards:


Oh and an oldie but a goodie!:


I love that all of these are free and the only equipment you need is some stretchy pants and a yoga mat, but still a great work out in the comfort of your own living room!

Disclaimer here - I am not any type of fitness guru and you should have some common sense and not do stuff if it hurts or your doctor tells you not to - kapeesh?

A Stylish Mama

So, today is Mother's day - never my favorite day out of the year since losing my own mom to cancer 17 years ago. It has absolutely gotten easier to celebrate this day over the years and I have a lot of amazing women in my life to celebrate on this day.  Women who treat me like one of their own, mentor, and help to guide me along this crazy thing called life. It is a complex thing to celebrate this day but today I want to focus on something I love - style. I saw this adorable blog about what women have learned from their mom's about fashion and ModCloth's instagram and blog have been filled with "mom-inspired" outfits all week!

I love the idea of celebrating mom's style because most of the time a mom is going to be a big source of your fashion and style choices, even unconsciously. My own sweet mama was definitely my biggest style inspiration just by her own love of clothes, fashion, shoes, and all things accessories. Some of the biggest fashion lessons I learned from her were:

- If you've got it, flaunt it. (aka dress for your body, every one has something to flaunt! Play up your assets!)

- Always look put together, because how you look affects how you feel. My mom was often undergoing some sort of medical procedure or treatment for her cancer, but by god I dare you to find a hair out of place. She felt better if she looked put together.

- When in doubt, buy the shoes. She is the reason I inherited by Imelda Marcos level shoe hoarding habits. She had dozens and dozens of shoes, and she found a way to wear them all!

- And perhaps most importantly, be confident. Be OK with who you are and embrace yourself. It may have took some urging by her best friend (hey, we all have self-confidence issues now and then) but it was brave and amazing of her to bare her adorable little head during her chemo. She also had a blonde wig that she wore because, as she said, "Blondes have more fun".

So today, in order to honor her, I am wearing an outfit directly inspired by my mom. I have lots of 80's - 90's fashion inspiration photos to choose from, as you can see from above, but when I first decided to do this post I picked this one:

Just look how adorable she is! :) Stripes are totally on trend right now and I love red. I thought this would be the perfect outfit to try to emulate. So I tried. And I tried. And I hated the new top I bought (I am actually taking it back) and it just didn't feel right.

I went back to the photo album. I learned that my mom wore white jeans a lot. Like, she even had a pair of white overalls! I learned that she also wore pastels. a lot. I also learned she apparently had her photo taken in winter a lot, or she was just always cold, because I swear the woman is wearing a turtleneck or heavy knit in almost every photo! Then I started to re-think this whole post and thought that a photo album was making me a liar…

Then I took a minute and breathed.

 I decided to go simple. So, I  went back to some of my favorite photos, of some of my most cherished memories. I changed my mind and picked this one:

A snapshot from our last vacation together in Sedona, AZ. The time when my mom was being amazingly brave. A classic outfit - a floral top (even if it is a turtleneck (IN ARIZONA MOM - REALLY?)), jeans, and a long sweater. That I can do.

So here is my version. Updated print and silhouette and let's not talk about acid wash, but ultimately the same concept. Plus, I think she would've liked it.

Happy Mother's Day Mama.

Has your mom influenced you fashion sense? What's the best style advice your mom gave you?