Women Shaming Women: A Rant

One of my favorite radio stations will do an occasional segment called “Grind my Gears” and the newscaster gets to just rant about current things that drive me crazy or “grind his gears”. Consider this my version of "Grind my Gears".

So, I saw this article in my facebook newsfeed and actually had a violent reaction to it. It grinds my gears so to speak.

Self magazine asked to use a woman's photo of her running in a marathon in a tutu, which she heartily agreed to, and then used it to mock her efforts. Oh, and by the way, she was mid-chemo treatments AND has a charity to raise money for young girls.

I am not sure which reason pushed me completely over the edge after reading this but there are a few possibilities. 

Maybe it is because I have dabbled in running in tutus. 

Maybe it is because I have never been and never will be the super-fit athletic wonder woman.

Maybe it is because I struggle immensely with weight loss.

Maybe it is because it is just a super bitchy thing for Self magazine to have asked to use this woman’s photo to heartlessly mock and shame her.

Seriously, the fact that she is a cancer survivor is the least of it for me (not that it isn’t 100% awesome, rock-star status to run a marathon in the midst of chemo, plus raise money for charity besides!). It is the fact that she is a woman, trying to better herself, make healthy life choices and a magazine FOR WOMEN’s HEALTH cut her down for having fun while being healthy. This is everything that is wrong with the world we live in. 

If I need to strap on a tutu to run a 5K, what the hell is wrong with that? Are you truly pretentious enough to say I dumbing down your sport? Have I personally offended you with my tulle-adorned waist?

Wait, let me answer that for you. The answer is No. Just enjoy my fluffly behind as you pass me and move on with your life. 

Then, later in the day, I saw this headline. Joan Rivers Accuses Lena Dunham of Promoting Obesity

For the record, I don’t watch Girls and don’t know much about Lena Dunham, but I do know that she is a real person and no one deserves to be the target of this unkindness.  

I am not sure if Joan Rivers needs to be the poster girl for obesity and diabetes prevention here and aside from that, why oh why, as a woman who broke down so many boundaries for women in comedy would she viciously attack another young woman who is in a similar situation as she was? Shame on you Joan.

And, for the record, Lena Dunham isn’t fat. She is a perfectly normal-sized individual with a normal BMI. Just because she doesn’t fit into some unrealistic Giselle-shaped pigeon hole does not mean she is not a beautiful person. Plus, from what I have gleaned, this girl is downright brilliant, so maybe we should celebrate that instead of cutting her down for what she looks like.

When will we learn that fat-shaming doesn’t work?

Making a person feel embarrassment and shame is never going to spur them into making healthier decisions for themselves and honestly probably just sends some into a deeper spiral. If a person is able to accept and love themselves, they are going to be more likely to make good, healthy decisions than if they are forced to keep tearing themselves down.

Do you people really have no idea that you can’t say anything to a chubby girl that she hasn’t already said to herself 1000 times?

I guarantee I have hated on my body WAY more than anyone else ever could, but it still hurts deeply when someone else says anything negative about it. We already know what is “wrong” with our bodies, so maybe just don’t be a jerk and keep it to yourself.

Anyway, why is it wrong to love myself and my body the way it is – curves, lumps, and bumps and all?

To be honest, I would rather be chubby with curves than super skinny – that’s my personal preference and why isn’t it OK for me to embrace that? There are so many different body types out there, why is only 1 considered beautiful?

And women (myself included) – Can we please just stop being a bunch of catty bitches? I mean honestly, together we could do so much good, why do we waste our time tearing each other down?

Whew. It felt good to get that out.

Anything that is grinding your gears lately? Run in a tutu recently?

UPDATE: I just wanted to include here a response by San Diego residents to the Self Magazine debacle.  

Some of my faith in humanity may be restored :)