Tired

Guys, sometimes this whole blogging this is really hard. 

I mean, yes, I have been super busy as of late, but it is more than that. 

I stress over the content here. I adore reading other blogs, but I have little confidence that anything I say is readable. I am not very funny, not very witty, and don’t have any type of platform to tout products or anything else. 

I feel extraordinarily ordinary. And most days, really, I am A-OK with ordinary. 

But is ordinary worth blogging? 

What about those really tough, but still ordinary seasons of life? 

Weeks when people you love are exceptionally hard on you for no good reason. The weeks you disappoint yourself. The days you cannot stand to look in a mirror. Those times that if one more person asks you to do something you will just scream. I have had a lot of these lately. I have had no desire to string words together and plaster them up on the internet, because why? I have nothing positive of note to say. I don’t want to be a whiny blogger and just express my feelings when things are tough or I am down. And my gosh, if I have to take one more selfie… 

But at the same time, I want to be authentic and real because that is what I love so much about some of my favorite bloggers. They keep it real yo. 

So in the spirit of authenticity – life has been hard. I am tired. Eh - more than tired, weary. I have not wanted to blog. I have not wanted to take pictures of myself. I’ve taken some hits to my self esteem (honestly, sometimes I amaze myself for the amount of self-confidence I do have). I’ve worried more than my norm. I have hit my stress limits on all fronts; work, school, and home. 

But today – I see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

I have been taking care of myself a bit better and hitting the pavement again. I am feeling stronger and blissfully sore again. I am almost done with another class and that much closer to my Masters. The winter has finally broke and Spring is here. I am going to be practicing a little more self-love and taking more time to appreciate my accomplishments rather than just plowing ahead to the next thing. I am setting a new intention for the rest of the year; to love my whole self. 

I don’t know what that might look like yet – I do know that I need to holistically care for myself; mind, body, and soul. Maybe a little more exercise, a little more reflection, possibly some journaling, hopefully a little less stress and anxiety, and a little more confidence perhaps? 

What do you do to love yourself and renew mind/body/spirit?

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100 Day Shopping Ban - Home Stretch

In January of this year, I am embarked on a 100-day shopping ban with some fellow bloggers. The idea was proposed by the lovely Rachel the Hat and she wrote a great mid-way follow up post which you can read here. It really encompassed a lot of the feelings I was having about this journey.

Since January 6^th I have been purchase-free. My ban included clothes, shoes, and any accessories. I did spend some Christmas gift cards on 3 tunics from ModCloth (see here, here, and here) which I have gotten a ton of use out of, but no other new clothing has graced by closet or dented my bank account. Well, I also purchased a pair of rain/winter boots that were deemed a necessity, but those are probably worth their own post AND were OK'd by the Twitter shopping ban support group :)  

We are two weeks away from the end of this shopping ban and it is making me think that April 15^th will be my most favorite day of the year this year. (My hubs is an accountant, so tax day marks the day we can be normal people again –that AND I get to buy clothes again!) With the weather FINALLY feeling like Spring, I have to admit, I am jonesing for some new springy clothes! I meandered around Target for almost 45 minutes on Saturday just looking at and touching all of the new seasonal styles and making some mental notes for things I will be more than happy to add to my wardrobe. Also, Easter is almost upon us and I always love a new Easter dress. So, when my ban lifts I will likely purchase the following:

1.   Floral, springy dress(es)

2.   Floral, multicolor scarf

3.   Denim vest

4.   Light-weight cardi(s)

5.   Soft, pastel shirt(s)

6.   Linen pants

7.   Comfy wedges

8.   Something in cobalt

It is nice to actually have a well-thought out list of things that I actually need to supplement my wardrobe and I have also been able to do a lot of purging over the past few months as I have been able to clearly see which clothing items I don’t wear. I even started a Pinterest Wish List that can keep me realistic about the clothing items I really want to own, not just those that inspire me.

Some lessons I have learned over the past 90ish days:

1.   I really don’t NEED new clothes – I mean, I know this seems completely obvious, and it really is, but I think I needed to go through this ban to just see how many clothes I really do have.

2.   I can be more creative with mixing and matching. – Again, duh Ashlea.

3.   Shopping is almost like stress-eating for me. When I am unhappy I shop and I am glad to be able to “window shop” in the same way without making impulse purchases and still get that little “high” or bit of inspiration to take home.

4.   Purge, purge, purge. I’ve been able to make way in my closet for some new seasonal items because I purged. I am also going to make an attempt to switch from a winter-to-summer wardrobe for the first time in, oh ever. My drawers are prime real estate, so I will work on actually putting some stuff into storage in the next month or so.

5.   There are actually better things to spend money on than new dresses… kind of. We were able to get a new blender and some new pillow shams that really completed our bedroom and all because I was actually paying attention to things in our home that reside in other places than my closet.

I do miss shopping, totally. I LOVE getting new packages of goodies in the mail and making impulse Target shopping trips. However, I hope to move forward as a more responsible, careful, and thoughtful shopper.